From excitement to discontent

Do you remember the day you got your first ‘real’ job? When I say ‘real’ I mean, not the job you got when you were 16 delivering newspapers or washing cars…. But the job you hoped would be your future career. How did you feel? Were you excited, proud, happy? For some us, the job was something we had been aiming for, for what seemed like forever, so yeah! You should be excited!

When I got my first real job, it was as a Direct Marketing Fundraiser for a medium-ish sized charity. I was ecstatic! I wanted to get into a marketing role working in an organisation where I helped people, either directly or indirectly. I wanted to feel like I was doing something good, and I felt this was it.

I loved working at this organisation for many reasons; it wasn’t huge and the people were all genuinely wonderful. I made some amazing friends and had really lovely relationships with everyone I met. I learnt loads and I progressed quickly. I was driven and motivated and my days were enjoyable, sociable and fun. I honestly had such a good time there. The 3+ years I spent there were wonderful.

Over the next 8 years, my jobs became less enjoyable. In fact, some were purely horrid experiences. I started to feel disconnected with what I was doing. At times, I didn’t feel I was actually doing good anymore. I often questioned the ethics of what I was doing… (I’m sure you’re aware how fundraising can be controversial), to top it off, I didn’t feel the relationships I developed were all genuine.

Money Isn’t Everything

Was it just about not getting on with the people, not enjoying the tasks required of the job or was it a lot deeper? I think one of my manager’s asked me if it was about pay at one point. Was I seeking a pay rise? My response was a “no”. Money was not a motivator. They could have offered me a million pounds, and as much as I’d love to have that in my pocket, it just wasn’t working for me anymore. When money doesn’t motivate you, you’ve got to wonder “what the heck is up with that?”

Let’s cut the chase. I felt unfulfilled because my needs were no longer being met and I wasn’t honouring what I valued and believed.

What Are Your Core Values And Beliefs?

If you’ve no idea, this is a really quick and simple way of drawing them out of you.

1. Think of an experience where you felt really happy – now list all the values that were being met in the process.

2. Think of an experience that annoys you – list all the ways it violates your values.

You should end up with a long list of values that are important to you. Add any that aren’t listed, then prioritise them in importance to you. Your top ten are you core values.

Our Priorities Changes During Pivotal Times In Our Lives

During the first few years of my career, all my needs were being met:

I was helping others/working for a good cause.
I was constantly learning.
I was gaining responsibility.
I had great relationships with my colleagues.
I had a fabulous social life.
I became totally independent and bought my first property.
I was having amazing foreign adventures.

Life was GREAT!!

Why Did I Want Change?

I wanted more responsibility; in my head I wanted to get to the top (I’m a goal driven person) because that’s what people want, isn’t it? If you don’t aim for the top, what are you doing? Is that a societal expectation I had picked up? I look back at myself now and shake my head disapprovingly…..

My job that followed was actually one of the worse jobs I’d ever had. It was so bad I’ve erased it from my memory. In my thirst for responsibility I made a very poor choice. I quickly left that role and found something else.

Having more responsibility was exciting for a while, until one day, it dawned on me that I didn’t want a more senior role in this sector. I didn’t actually want to continue in fundraising. My goal had been to get to the top, but now there was no top. What was I going to strive for now? Cue feeling lost!

Lost and Frustrated

I wondered around for another 4 or so years trying to figure out how to feel good in my job. I had a great manager at the time and we created a role I was more interested in, it was more creative and collaborative, which I actually enjoyed, but ultimately this career just didn’t fit with me anymore and enough was enough. If you want a quick overview of how I got to where I am now, check out my About Me page.

Fast forward to now.

Finally the penny drops and I get it.

As I got older, and more experienced, the order of importance for my values (which I wasn’t conscious of) changed and some aspects became neglected. The work I was doing didn’t align with enough of my values.

When your actions don’t align with your beliefs and values, you will feel frustrated and you’ll get a sense that something isn’t right. There is an imbalance.

Throughout our lives, our priorities change. Our values should mostly stay the same, but their order of importance will differ. It’s the meeting of those values that’s important.

For example, if your values include

Hard work
Family
Love
Determination
Respect
Fun

When you are at the start of your career, you might put hard work and determination towards the top, but when you have a new family, love and family will likely rise to the top.

If you have a new family, but you’re unable to spend time providing love to your family because you’re too busy working hard or having fun, there is a disconnect between your actions and values. A change in focus needs to be consciously made.

Try to fit them all in and you face burn out.

How Aligned Is Your Career And Your Lifestyle With Your Values?

Career dissatisfaction can feel confusing, frustrating and unfulfilling. Understanding why you feel the way you do, by checking in with how aligned you are with your values, empowers you to make better decisions about how you want to move forward. You don’t need to make huge changes straight away but acknowledging where you are neglecting or violating values will ease you back into alignment.

Having clarity of identity and future vision is the most effective way to ensure you live a fulfilled, joyful life you are excited about. If you haven’t already downloaded your Reflect and Reset guide, 3 Steps to Getting Unstuck, be sure to get it now. It’s such an amazing tool in helping you to become clear on what no longer serves you, so you can strive towards a fulfilling life you’re excited about.

Reflect and Reset Guide

My name is Sabrina Qua and I am on a mission to empower women to break free from limitations and reconnect with themselves, so they can live lives they are excited about. If you feel like you’ve been living your life on auto pilot and you’re not happy with where you are heading or maybe you’ve just lost your way and life has become a bit of a slog, the good news is you can change this.

By exploring who you are and what’s important to you, you will become clear on what you want and how you want to live your life. Clarity and vision is the most effective way to creating a fulfilled, joyous life you are excited about. Personal growth requires work, but it can also be so much fun, so I ask you to keep an open mind, be curious and get ready to live your best life.

I welcome you to join me on Facebook Where We Thrive

Career Dissatisfaction and What to Do About It